| Failing is how we humans learn! Through our failures, or the failures of others. It's normal, healthy, and OK. You like all of us have failed before, right? And you survived! It's what help make you who you are. Some decisions are not right or wrong, some decisions have no serious lasting impact. What do you want for dinner? What do you want to watch on tv tonight? There's no choosing wrong, there's no perfect answer. Concern that you're a poor husband sounds a lot like imposter syndrome. The thing is, having those concerns means you're far from being a poor husband. Bad husbands don't care if they are bad husbands, and usually convince themselves that they aren't the problem. Communication is the biggest most important thing in making a relationship work. Focus on that.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a book by John Gottman that will help. Every adult on the planet is an ineffective adult. It sounds like you have a lot of high expectations of yourself. No one is perfect. No one has all of their shit together. No one person can do everything on their own that they "should" be doing to be a "proper" adult. You have to remember to show yourself some compassion. What advice would you give to someone that came to you with these concerns? I recommend reading "The way of the peaceful warrior" by Dan Millman. I too am naive and overly trusting. I would rather live my life with the occasional screw over and manipulation then living jaded and distrusting. I want to live a life of kindness and love. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but more often it does. This too shall pass. Suicide only ensures that things can never get better. The simplest "food for the soul" is to eat, shit, and sleep. Everything else can be addressed later. |