[AnimalMuppet]

Here's a pro athlete with a pulled hamstring. They may not even be able to walk. They've got expectations for themselves, and they can't meet them. They can guilt trip or berate themselves for letting the team down, but that doesn't make them any more able to play.

You're injured. You may someday be healed, but for right now, you're injured. That's not a moral statement. You're not a bad person for being injured.

You can't meet your expectations right now. Injury is like that. Forgive yourself for it. ("Forgive" is the wrong word, because it implies moral fault. But to the degree that you blame yourself, forgive yourself.) Then try to work on healing. That's what you need right now. (Athletes don't try to play on pulled hamstrings, but they do work on rehab.)

I can't tell you what "rehab" looks like for you. All I can say is that you need to stop beating yourself up for being broken by trauma. It's not a failing.

For what it's worth, I'm praying for you.