[loriverkutya]

Ignore the downvotes, I'm not sure which country you are in but there are other suicide prevention services in most of them, phone helplines, charities and other options.

And while I know that you don't feel like you have energy to seek for help, please consider do a Google search and reach out to one of the helplines, they will help you find a way out and figure out how you can get some form of help on a shorter notice. Also you have done the first step which is usually the hardest, realised you need help.