[muzani]

It does sound immature, but I wouldn't blame it on you. It's a state that you're in, that you want to get out of. Emotional maturity has to grow too, and you have to put effort into growing it, just like mental and physical growth.

People often recommend meditation because it's a quick, dumb fix for this. Sit still. Observe your emotions. Let them go. Eventually you see these emotions boiling up, but they don't control you. As time goes on, you get into the root of these emotions and pull them out.

If meditation is hard, therapy is similar and more precise, where someone else goes in and debugs you for a price. It's more time-effective, but you still have to put in the time to release the negative emotions.

There are reasons you feel this way, but telling yourself that it's irrational doesn't stop them. It's also quite common for more senior devs who have gone through the death marches and such.