[willjp]

This resonates with me on multiple levels.

I do feel even when scoping large projects that it is difficult to hold on to all of the pieces. I split it into chunks I can reason about and then (sometimes fearfully) return to the bigger picture. By the end of the project I can see all of the mistakes I made fumbling in the dark, but I’m not sure I could have managed more at the time that I did it.

I also feel this way about socializing at work. There’s something maslowian about it, when you are uncertain if you’re going to make it, it feels perilous to join socials. They’ll never fire me for not being social enough, is the message that fires through my brain at least. Though I’m sure social anxiety plays a role here as well.