[jstarfish]

> But it started to veer completely weird after that, about abandoning all his friends and stuff. It turned into a giant WTF for me.

Yeah, this is exactly what I'm talking about. It's long-game triangulation, which is little more than domestic violence perpetrated by the other partner. But men are supposed to feel ashamed of themselves if they're not willing to just blindly go along with it.

The irony is, they call this sort of victim the "ideal" guy, while simultaneously deriding him as a "simp" to the rest of their cliques. It's loathesome. I pity anybody involved in the dating game these days.

[nailer]

> It's long-game triangulation, which is little more than domestic violence perpetrated by the other partner.

No.

Domestic violence is domestic violence.

“Long game triangulation” is manipulative behaviour. It is not domestic violence.

Domestic violence is having your mother beat your skull with one of those maglite baton torches the police use.

Saying things that aren’t violence are violence is exactly the kind of awful behaviour others in this thread are complaining about.

[thiht]

Domestic violence is more than one thing, and it includes psychological abuse. Not all violence is physical.

[nailer]

No, domestic violence is only one thing, that thing is domestic violence. All violence is physical. Other forms of abuse that are not physical are not violence.

If we have a verbal confrontation one of us has hurt feelings. If it turns violent, there is actual violence. Words have meanings.

You can care about other types of abuse. You should care about other types of abuse.

But claiming things that aren’t violent are violent steals resources - not just awareness but potentially money, police time and medical attention from victims of domestic violence.

This is massively wrong at best and evil at worst.

[thiht]

> Words have meanings.

Yes. Here's the meaning of "domestic violence" according to some authoritative sources:

- - -

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

> Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" [...]. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.

- - -

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-ag...

> Intimate partner violence refers to behaviour by an intimate partner or ex-partner that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours

- - -

https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

> Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship

- - -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

> It can assume multiple forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive, or sexual abuse.

[nailer]

Yes. The misuse of terms you've shown is exactly the concern I and other victims of domestic violence have.

Meanwhile, here the Oxford English Dictionary:

    violence, n.

    1. a. The exercise of physical force so as to inflict injury on, or cause damage to, persons or property; action or conduct characterized by this; treatment or usage tending to cause bodily injury or forcibly interfering with personal freedom.

You are indirectly supporting domestic violence by manipulating the definition of violence to include non-violent offences.

(separately: Wikipedia is not a source at all, let alone an authoritative one)

Again, since you didn't address this: claiming things that aren’t violent are violent steals resources - not just awareness but potentially money, police time and medical attention from victims of domestic violence.

[jstarfish]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience, but the definition you yourself quoted plainly states:

> treatment or usage tending to cause bodily injury or forcibly interfering with personal freedom.

Domestic violence comprises more than just battery by someone who happens to be a family member.