| Some of the comments here are very insensitive. Here's some advice: * Cut yourself some slack. You are in the early days of a shock and you have to allow yourself the time to grieve and process your loss. You sister, mother, and grandmother are also doing the same. You will all feel sad, angry, upset, often for what aren't "real" reasons. I remember when my Mother died I got angry at a guy parking wrong on the street. * You're the only man in a family. You are all one and your family seems to be solid from what you've said. You have some responsibility as the oldest child of your mother that is also educated and working. You have the responsibility to be a grandson to your grandmother, a son to your mother, and a brother to your sister. You aren't required to take on a new role, just because you are the only man. * You need to take time to grieve and process the loss of your father. You will all grieve in different ways and in different times. The important thing is to understand that you will need time. * Don't make any decisions now, as long as there is money coming in and a roof over everybody's head, you don't need to make decisions. * Your sister is 16 and has dreams. Don't tear them down at the same time as she is also grieving. It's not your problem to solve, your mother is still her mother. Don't worry about the private tutors or the contests etc. Especially don't think that it's now your job to be her father. You are her brother. * It sounds like your father has left your family with some assets (apartments). That's a good start. Finances are what tear families apart. I am Jewish (agnostic) but one of the things that Judaism has as the process of grieving is time. * The first 7 days are intense, you don't do anything * The first 30 days are less intense, you start to re-enter day-to-day life, but understand that you aren't going to be "happy" or "back to (a new) normal" * The first year is allowed for mourning and dealing with someone dying. That's a good way to approach this. You are starting on a long journey, don't rush. |