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by Dave_TRS 1205 days ago
I am an INTP and this resonates with me, but is mostly an issue in group settings rather than one on one meetings.

In one-on-one first meetings I naturally participate in the back and forth. It's group meetings where I can just listen and absorb information that I come off as disengaged and don't make a good first impression. The strategy I use to mitigate this (suggested by an old boss) is to jump into the conversation very early in the meeting with 1 or 2 comments that I wouldn't have otherwise felt a need to make. It establishes my voice at the table and then I can relax and just process information
2 comments
thanatropism 1205 days ago
I'm the opposite, in a group meeting I can see the camps forming and contribute a third view. In a 1-to-1 I don't know what your agenda is.
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Dave_TRS 1205 days ago
That's interesting, in the long run I would say I'm that way too, but it'll be toward the end of the meeting after things have been hashed out I'd contribute my new perspective. Or even worse for first impressions, I'll often I'll listen to a whole meeting, continue forming my thoughts even after the meeting has ended, and then write a well constructed email back to the key people.

I may have figured out a better solution than was possible for anyone during the meeting, but by sending it late people's impressions during the meetings of me may not be the best.

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JohnBooty 1205 days ago
I tend to make good first impressions, I think, because typically (in my experience) nothing too in-depth is being discussed on the first meeting.

    It's group meetings where I can just listen 
    and absorb information that I come off as disengaged 
    and don't make a good first impression
This is where I struggle sometimes. IMO/IME if it's complicated enough to have a meeting about, then it's probably something that deserves some deeper thought. Blurting and hashing out a solution right then and there is rarely the path to an optimal solution.

But of course, that's not how the world works. Spew out a solution right then and there. That's how you get ahead. Who cares if it's the best solution? You blurted it out first, and that is seen by others as a sign of confidence, and if you are confident then you must know what you're talking about... right?

God, I need to get out of this industry. Maybe all industries.

On a positive note, I do like your mitigation strategy.

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