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by noduerme 1209 days ago
Calcium stones run all along the male side of my family too.. and I've had a few. The notion to me that lemonade would be helpful is counterintuitive. Generally we've come to understand that high doses of Vitamin C are part of the problem, because that's been something the men in my family do to ward off sickness - but my father, who took 5000 milligrams of C a day for years, always got the worst stones of all.

>> 2. Don't drink spirits.

This is probably true, but it contravenes the one piece of hard-won family folk wisdom that has helped me. Our method of removing kidney stones is as follows:

1. Go to a bar, take a piss if you can, then sit and order a Guinness.

2. Order 5 more Guinnesses and make a concerted effort to drink them all without taking a piss. Wait until you're absolutely desperate.

3. Go to the men's room and eject the stone. [the intoxication helps numb it, too].

I've watched my father pass them in the hospital; I remember remarkably twiddling one of his kidney stones in my hand as we drove him home, it was iridescent white and about the size of a shriveled pea. So far, though, this method hasn't failed me and I've yet to be hospitalized.

4 comments

> 5000 milligrams of C a day for years

Vitamin C supplements are synthesized from fermentation products of corn and wheat. [0]

A single lemon contains about 32 milligrams of Vitamin C, along with many other things. This study showed that it's lemon extract, not vitamin C alone, that improves kidney stones.

[0] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24258144/

Yeah, I'd assume it's something in lemons that has the absolute opposite effect of Vitamin C, if it breaks up stones. I believe on strong circumstantial evidence that vitamin C contributes to them, so whatever lemons have, my dad should've squeezed more of it.
Citrate
I like that they do this in a bar rather than at home
Well, the whole point is not to sit around at home, thinking of the pain.

Call it a weird theory, but I've spent a good part of my life in bars and I've never actually seen anyone die in one. This is reassuring; it means as long as I'm inside a bar, I probably won't die. The moment I hit the sidewalk outside, anything could happen.

When I've gone to bars to pass kidney stones, I make sure to alert and tip the hell out of the bartender before I embark on this kind of thing. I consider it a sort of vulgar hospital. At that point, tipping $50 is basically medical insurance. The last time it happened, I was in Paris; I saw the stone on the doctor's ultrasound. I staggered up the street and a girl I had sort of a crush on was bartending; I just told her the whole story without embarrassment, and she lined up the beers for me and made sure I got a taxi home. I'm pretty sure she would've sent someone to pick me up off the bathroom floor, which is more than you can say about health care in America.

I cannot tell if this is a true story or not, but I don't really care. You're an excellent storyteller.
I want to believe he married the girl.
This is a heartwarming story that's given me a lot to think about.
Does the Guinness in particular play anything into it or could a lager or ale work better/differently? I find this gross, fascinating, and hilarious.
As someone who has mild problem with kindey stones since 15y old, any lager works.

lower alcohol lvls means your head won't exploed next day, higher alcohol lvls means it doesn't hurt that much.

This isn't a forum for unprofessional, unproven medical advice.
Let me be the first to state that nothing I have said here is intended as medical advice. [edit: I also specifically called it "family folk wisdom" which is about as clear as anyone can get that it's not scientific medical advice] Like everything else around here, it's just one person's opinion, and no one has leverage to brigade for or against it, which we all appreciate about this board. Just ignore it if it bugs you, or argue the damn thing on its merits, tell me what a fucking idiot I am if that helps; no one's reading this except you and me and like 30 other people, and their minds aren't going to be changed whatever the outcome of our conversation is.

I'd say if you're here to make a point about how to make a point, you're sort of missing the point.

Skip attacking the style and get down to arguing the content. You're thankfully not limited here to 140/280 characters.

Indeed, but it is a forum for sharing possibly useful experiences, and if this works for the author it may work for others and be a net benefit to all. So I'm for it given the trouble stones apparently can cause.
Can you give us a list of the allowed topics so we don't stray?
Ah, we can make analogue ChatGPT.
HN was ahead of the curve on NAC, Ivermectin, and Vitamin D during COVID while the experts screeched in dismay. I’ll take medical advice from the Internet any day, over the experts.
I've seen many actual doctors here.