[generalizations]

I’d read that more as a commentary on the women he’s attracting. If one asked me my TTC, especially on a first date, I’d absolutely not just give a generic answer. I’d have no further interest in the kind of person who would ask that question.

[credit_guy]

I wouldn't haste to be so judgmental. Sure, you can say that someone who inquires about how much you earn is a gold digger.

But you can also look at it as a potential co-founder of your startup (we are on HN, so I think this metaphor is not inappropriate). The startup is the family, and the business idea is to raise your children. You both bring something to the table. Just like in a startup some founder bring technical chops and other business acumen, here both partners have something to offer. Capability to provide for the kids is important. If you can't provide, then the startup will end up in failure. Why risk that?

[generalizations]

I guess it depends on what you're looking for. You're right; if the family is the priority, and the partner is important to the degree that they're competent to fulfil their role in the family, then starting the conversation with what each side can bring to the table makes sense. But that feels too...transactional for me.

[cpcallen]

And definitely a lot like a job interview!