I completely agree, except for the last line. It is in my experience very hard to post-hoc get people to care about query performance. Organizationally and technically. In a complicated monolith at scale, de-tangling the ORM is a multi-years long project.
Edited to say: as for the average website, I do completely agree. For the unique website that will scale as well, I likely would still 95/100 recommend the ORM, but my experience has taught me that there be some pain on the road.
Edited to say: as for the average website, I do completely agree. For the unique website that will scale as well, I likely would still 95/100 recommend the ORM, but my experience has taught me that there be some pain on the road.