[echelon]

> but I sure will appreciate two doting daughters when I'm an old curmudgeon.

Fingers crossed. My worry(?) is that any children I potentially have would move across the country (or world) and be fully occupied / overwhelmed by their own lives.

[opportune]

I am a child that did this. While for some it might be permanent, for others it can just be temporary - I moved back for a year while my father dealt with a terminal illness.

From my perspective, my mother can visit me just as well as I can her - I shouldn’t have to live by where she chose to live if it doesn’t work for me (and it doesn’t - the job opportunities stink and even if I did work remote, there is just a big cultural clash between me and that area). Once parents retire it is just as much on them to relocate close to me as it is I to them.

When I think about my desire to have children, I frame it in terms of them getting what they want, rather than sticking around like a pet.

[echelon]

Parent has to do everything for the child for the child's entire life.

Bad deal.

[opportune]

You shouldn't be having children with the perspective of a financial payoff, free therapist, etc.

I don’t think parenting is a bad deal for the same reason any other kind of entertainment or fulfilling lifestyle choice is a “bad deal”

[lotsofpulp]

Before marriage, I made sure my partner agreed with me that if we had kids, we would not act as if our kids owed us anything. I did not want to bring people into this world just so they can work for me.

If they want to, and we happen to live near, then great. If their goals take them elsewhere, then that is great also.