[thaumaturgy]

> What should I do to get to a point where I feel confident enough to actually send in applications?

Change how you think about applying for jobs. A job application is not a one-shot inflection point for the rest of your life. Instead, think about them as mini-experiments. Send out lots of applications, tweak your CV for some of them, try different keywords and cover letters, get ChatGPT to write a few for you. Treat it like any other skill that requires practice to improve. This works best for jobs you sort of don't want anyway, so you don't get spun out of your head trying to get everything dialed in perfectly for the jobs you do want. (I am also bad at this.)

> Will the 4-year gap and my choppy CV be a major hindrance to my hirability?

Yes.

> how do I minimise its debilitating effects?

Do you have time to contribute to some open source projects? Lots of FOSS is written in C, and they can always use more contributors. This is a great way to sharpen lots of the skills you need in good work environments anyway: collaboration, modern tooling and techniques, communication.

And then you can add, "Contributor to ... ... ..." to your CV and that will help.

> Should I be spending my time in expanding my knowledge areas?

Always. But, focus some of that energy on deepening your knowledge in areas where you're already strong. Usually, deep knowledge gets more money. But you should also have some working knowledge of stuff outside your specialization. Cross-pollination is cool.

[malwrar]

>> Will the 4-year gap and my choppy CV be a major hindrance to my hirability?

>Yes.

Ultimately, your 4 years of not working turns into a maybe 4 minute story you’ll need to tell a few times when people ask about your gap during interviews. I’d probably ask about it if I was interviewing you OP because I’d worry we’d hire you on and find out you were still burnt or that I’d be effectively gambling about your productivity. Doing some open source work or even personal projects using relevant technology (check job descriptions for what people are looking for) and talking to me about it would assuage me, and boom 4 minutes later your gap is no longer a problem when I give my feedback.