[twobitshifter]

Maybe this helps in some places, but the negativity described here will not win you any friends when the subject is your coworker’s pull request and not a random journal article. I always try to see other perspectives and understand why a choice was made and get people to think instead of judging what’s been done. Working with “the smartest person in the room” who believes there’s only one right way to accomplish a goal can be hell. People often mistake confidence for leadership.

[feoren]

Sure, we should all make an effort to be diplomatic and not unnecessarily negative. But you're making a huge assumption: that the "smartest person in the room" is wrong. That's a nice, convenient, simple world where you can just ignore people that you disagree with by a-priori assuming they're wrong. Sorry to burst your bubble: sometimes (often?), these people are right.

People with decades of experience are often integrating thousands of lessons they've learned, in order to satisfy hundreds of individual constraints as best as they can. Consider the "Thinking Fast and Slow" anecdote about the fire chief who orders everyone out of the building, despite nothing obvious being wrong, because they have a gut feeling. If there's a culture of "Who made you the boss? Look at this guy, acting like he's the smartest guy in the room. If you're so smart, you should be able to explain to me why you believe we should all leave the building. All voices deserve to be heard. Sometimes the best ideas can come from ..." then everyone dies.

Look, I know we hate it when that arrogant sportsman is actually good at his sport. It's a bruising to our ego when the senior developer seemingly arrogantly insists on some standard or some change that isn't immediately obvious to you, and she doesn't immediately have the time to explain to you the 600 reasons why. She's probably a hell of a lot more critical of the idea than you are! She's already thought of, and worked through, every single objection you're raising, plus 100 more, and still decided this was the way to go. Yes, mentoring is important, and she probably does spend a lot of time doing that. (Maybe you're not willing to listen?) But not every moment has to be a healthy-debate all-ideas-welcome teaching moment. Sometimes you just fucking listen to the smartest guy in the room before the building collapses.