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by Brushfire 1208 days ago
I think that’s a great point, and I don’t disagree with it. (Although I don’t particularly care about being “interesting” as a value). My point was more that as a parent I want to be responsive to my children instead of deterministic. I want them to find their path, not me to find it for them by declaring that they will be exceptional. My love is not conditional on their outcome of becoming exceptional, and further, an ultimately fulfilling life doesn’t require that either, nor should we teach that it does.
3 comments
RHSman2 1208 days ago
Provide the things to allow them to find the passions that enrich their lives while also give them the tools to manage ‘real’ life.

We sent them to various sports but my youngest found football via watching the World Cup, my eldest found swimming as we went surfing and he wanted to be better.

Their choices. We just facilitate.

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vineyardmike 1208 days ago
> not me to find it for them by declaring that they will be exceptional

I don't think providing them stimulus and opportunity is you finding it for them. Giving your child access to interesting people across various fields ensures they can learn about various intellectual pursuits. Treating them as a person with real ideas to consider ensures that they'll have the confidence to engage in the real-world as a peer. Giving them freedom and "down time" to explore their own ideas actually give them the time to find their own path.

Think of it as a vector, you can let them pick the direction, but you can ensure that they go far in that direction. They don't have to be a world-class mathematician, even being a well-respected local teacher is exceptional.

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corbulo 1208 days ago
I agree. I suppose interesting is more of a compacted term for depth, and from that comes levels of fulfillment in my mind.

I think no matter what you do it will have a deterministic effect on your kid. If you're more responsive than deterministic they'll observe you for cues of who/what you have the most respect or adoration for and maybe seek to emulate it (or if they're rebellious, spite it). There's a fine line and moderation is important as with everything of course.

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