[lolinder]

I question the value of trying to combine multiple friend groups into one group chat. They may have overlapping friends in them, but the groups are distinct and have their own character and collective identity, and I present myself slightly differently to each group. What do I stand to gain by combining my interactions with these different groups into one "social network"?

[noisenotsignal]

If you are in multiple group chats and have something to say (e.g. a life update), do you post in each individually? Or do you pick and choose which groups get the update? If your groups overlap, now some people get the same update twice - are they supposed to react in both?

Group chats are intimate by design and don’t seem like a good fit for “broadcast” style updates like “I bought a house”, “moved to CA”, etc. That’s the value in the Facebook feed of old. Something like that also helps you stay connected with more distant friends/acquaintances, people you might not talk to daily but you would still be happy to see how they are doing in life.

[lolinder]

Again, it's instructive to think how things worked before Facebook.

People would announce things like that to each group individually, and often chose to not mention it in some groups because they're not intimate enough. We used to just be okay hearing and discussing the same announcement multiple times ("some of you already know this, but..."), most likely with different parts of the story told in different settings and triggering different conversation because the groups are different.

For the more distant acquaintances, people wrote Christmas cards (or equivalent) for the occasional updates. These can still be handled very nicely with an email list, and really don't call for the kind of instant-update sharing that Facebook et al encourage.

Is it less efficient to write and read the same updates multiple times? Sure. But is efficiency really what we should be striving for in human relations?

[noisenotsignal]

I mean, sure it worked before Facebook, but having grown up using Facebook, it feels much more natural to use social media than a Christmas card, email list, or whatever! Besides, those alternatives still feel intimate - you made an effort to reach out - and now you have to consider whether the other person wants that level of intimacy, will feel obligated to respond, etc.

The value that Facebook brought is now people can _choose_ to respond to you, and you can also silently see what others are up to without needing to explicitly catch up. It’s kind of like bumping into someone you know in public, and the resulting interaction (e.g. comment or DM from seeing the update post) feels much more organic as well.

[pessimizer]

> If you are in multiple group chats and have something to say (e.g. a life update), do you post in each individually? Or do you pick and choose which groups get the update?

Where's the problem here? Too many options and too much control? Nothing's stopping you from blasting every group chat you're in other than that you'll annoy the people in chats that don't want to hear about your problems. Maybe just send to your family and close friends.

> now some people get the same update twice - are they supposed to react in both?

This is a non-problem. Do people have to react to everything you say every place where you've said it? Is it difficult to decide how to deal with getting news over the phone and having that person announce the same news at the book club meeting? How will you know where to answer?

[noisenotsignal]

Broadcast-type announcements can be a little weird to announce in a group chat though. A very basic example, but let’s say you’re in a group chat mainly for gaming together. Are you going to be the first to make a big personal announcement, like “I just bought a house”? You could, but it almost feels weird in that you’re specifically putting the spotlight on yourself and also soliciting direct responses (some of which might just be a token “congrats!”). Whereas if you post a similar announcement on Facebook, Instagram Stories, etc, nobody feels compelled to respond unless they really want to.

You could say “if you don’t think people care, only tell your close family and friends”. But broadcast announcements can cause more spontaneous reactions from people, and I often find myself reconnecting, even if only in a short conversation, with people I don’t generally talk to otherwise. It’s a better way for staying connected with old friends, who you might not have reason to talk to frequently (e.g. via group chat), but would happily spend a day catching up with if you were in the same city.

[Karrot_Kream]

In my friend groups, you post it twice. Generally you react in the most intimate group chat you encounter the post in. It is a bit complicated, but much simpler than using a dedicated broadcast social network.

My intimate friends are almost all in group chats. Many of them are not technical at all.

[davidgay]

> If you are in multiple group chats and have something to say (e.g. a life update), do you post in each individually?

WhatsApp, at least, makes it easy to post the same update to multiple groups.