Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by crazygringo 1214 days ago
I think it's important to be sensitive here. There are people who don't like sex, and people who don't like outdoor settings either.

Now the age-old question is whether, with enough "opening up", they could. And yes, in many cases with enough therapy they could and would. But in other cases, therapy isn't going to achieve that. But regardless, doing therapy is essentially changing yourself to become a different person. And nobody is under the obligation to do therapy, or to grow or change or open up.

So I think it's important to be able to accept at face value that when someone isn't into something, whether it's dance or sex or the outdoors, they just aren't into it. Leave the door open so they know they're invited on your next hike, but zero pressure.

1 comments

When people say they're not a math person, I don't pressure them to change, but I do recognize how self limiting and reductive they are being.

Everybody gets to make their own choices on what they will and won't enjoy in life, for sure. I'm not the type of person to apply pressure over something like that. But as someone who learned that physical intelligence is something you can grow in my 30s, I do feel it's a bit of a sacred duty to chip away at the same fixed mindset when I see it in other people.