I was one of these. I grew up fairly religious in an environment where dancing was looked down upon (especially for men). As an adult, I had friends repeatedly nudge me toward it and it took a long time to get comfortable with it. Much of my resistance was not wanting to look silly in front of others, not wanting to be out of rhythm, etc. It’s a humbling experience at first and requires swallowing some pride. But man, once you experience your body unlocking and moving in time with music and other people, it’s hard to look back.
I definitely acknowledge gp’s point, it’s important to respect people’s boundaries and not push them into things they don’t want to be pushed into. I just hope you know that nudging often comes from people who like you and want to share joy with you.
My preferred manner of nudging is to 1. make a fool out of myself to clear space and 2. try and get people on the sidelines to do the smallest dance possible. Wiggle your pinkies, tap your toes, feel your way into it :)
I think that’s why some people really push it. There a myriad of reasons for not wanting to dance. A lot of them can be overcame (shame, fear of embarrassment, lack of knowledge how one would properly dance, doubt that it will be an enjoyable experience, etc) and the person can experience legitimate joy after dancing. This happens often enough that convinces the pushers that this it’s a good thing to keep pushing the resistants to dance. Of course, it’s not always true. But I would not fault those pushers to believe so.
A little nudging seems okay, but it often crosses the line with dancing, to the point where people get physically dragged to the dance floor.
A little gentle nudging followed by respecting the other person's choice is the way to go. But some people can't seem to compute the fact that there are legitimate reasons some people don't enjoy dancing, and take it as an almost personal affront.
If I'm playing Smash Brothers at a party, I'll totally try to get people involved, even if they don't look interested. But some people don't enjoy video games, and some people just don't like fighting games, so I don't physically force the controller into their hands, claiming "you'll have fun if you just loosen up!"
In my experience, if you tell one of the dance people that you have tried for over 10 years and still don't like it, they will very likely not even accept that.
They will believe they can show you better and make you like it, and thus will try to obnoxiously persuade you to dance with them.
It's just rude.
And the attitude of yours is also part of the problem:
Believing that somehow grown up people are incapable of learning the very basic fact "dancing can be fun" on their own and need to be told about it and nudged towards it.
No, they don't, they know it can be enjoyable, and they have tried, and it isn't for them, and they don't need to be educated any further.
This can be applied the other way too: stop caring so much about people not wanting to dance. They're adults and can make their own decisions about what's fun for them, it's not your responsibility to force them to enjoy something.
This is fine, I completely get it. My comment was more on the fact that you seem to care enough about what others think that you pretend you like it. Why not just tell people the same thing that you wrote in all caps, possibly adding "fuck off" if they still don't get it.
I definitely acknowledge gp’s point, it’s important to respect people’s boundaries and not push them into things they don’t want to be pushed into. I just hope you know that nudging often comes from people who like you and want to share joy with you.
My preferred manner of nudging is to 1. make a fool out of myself to clear space and 2. try and get people on the sidelines to do the smallest dance possible. Wiggle your pinkies, tap your toes, feel your way into it :)