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Just to be clear my oldest, now in 8th grade does ask occasionally to have a phone still. I gave her a pre-pay flip phone for emergencies, it can text and call, that's pretty much it. She also has a simple mp3 player for music that I put mp3s in, no internet access. They also have access to Youtube using my old phone. However, I have very clear rules about Youtube, which I can share if someone is curious. Finally, they have Amazon tablets with parental settings for their age group, and pretty much everything disabled except for books and kid apps. I'm explaining all of this so people can understand that they have access to some electronics. Basically, I have covered some electronic needs that they have like music, watching an occasional video, play video games. One of the advantages is by having specific devices for specific things I know what they are doing without having to watch over them. Youtube is the biggest exposure my kids have. I have my account logged in, so I can see what they watch, they know this. With no adult settings. Moreover, there is only one time they are allowed to watch Youtube it's an hour and all 4 of them take turns. This has actually created something I didn't expect, it forces them to find common videos they can all enjoy, or they just won't watch at specific days that the videos are "boring". If I look at the history and find a problematic video I will set expectations, reminders and sometimes I outright block certain channels. What's interesting is now that they have been doing this for a few years they monitor themselves. I hear them say "we can't watch that, find a different video". To answer the other part of the question of do they "healthy social lives". They do. I actually thing social media gives you a false sense of socializing. "Look at all the friends / likes I have". Instead, my kids actually talk to other kids or play. My oldest is more into hang out, draw, listen to music kind of thing. Overall, my wife is really social by nature, she has what I call people magic, so my kids have learned to emulate that. We coincidentally moved to a new house this year, within a week they had established multiple friends and befriended the entire neighborhood. Boredom helps, we all try to avoid it like the plague, but being bored allows you to become more creative. My kids go outside more, it helps that I have 4 because they can play with each other if no one else is around. I don't want to pretend my kids are perfect, and I am an amazing dad. They have faults, so do I, a lot of them. To me the key is setting clear expectations and explaining the why. The joke in my house is they will probably learn how to drive before they have a cellphone. Honestly that might happen. |