Ask HN: How did you fix or improve your lack of self-discipline?

[rokkk]

if you've struggled with procrastination but made some progress, how did you do it?

I seem to always follow this self-destructive pattern of postponing tasks. I get by fine, simply by doing stuff last second, but am very anxious most of the time because of it. On the few occasions I managed to be on top of a project I was immensely less stressed. If I could do this more, I feel like I could achieve 1000% more.

[Mockapapella]

Homelessness was a reeeeaally good motivator for me to get my shit together. Not that I advise anyone do it. Worked 12-14 hour days delivering food for a couple of months. I think seeing that number go up after every delivery really helped. Been a few years now so my willingness to be disciplined is lessened, but I can still turn it on whenever I need to.

I’d say think back to times when you were able to be disciplined. Was there a gamification of the task going on or little wins along the way? Those might help.

[user_7832]

I’d normally ask you (or anyone else reading and relating) whether you are also habitually late, have difficulty organising (things/items, thoughts, life) but I’m moderately sure the answer is yes. The “good” news is you probably have A(D)HD (Good because an adhd diagnosis is generally helpful - you had it but struggled all your life without knowing why, now you know it’s not your fault).

The not so great part is I haven’t figured out how to fix it so I can’t answer that lol (also adhd myself). Meds can hep but only to some extent, though med + therapy + healthy habits might be very effective.

To OP - go to your doc/gp and ask for an adhd evaluation.

(I’m normally very cautious with medical suggestions online but tbh this reads like a classic case of adhd to my moderately-well read self. If any medical professionals/folks who are aware of this field/fellow ADHDers want to chime in/correct me, please do!)

[user_7832]

I’d also recommend having a look at some of those 15~18 question online adhd tests, if you’re suddenly relating a lot to some/many of those that’s a decent indicator too.

[afarrell]

Find where you spiral and focus on changing some of your attitudes to remove the cycles of spiraling.

An example of spiraling is:

1. “I should be achieving <unreasonable expectations>”

2. Shame about not being productive enough to achieve those expectations.

3. Numbing your emotions by getting distracted on web forums.

4. GOTO 2

To break this, don’t imagine you’ll go cold turkey. You’re human and will stumble. Instead, have ways to break the cycle and stop it from starting.

1. Have more humility. Don’t compare yourself to others especially characters on a stage like Jeff Bezos.

2. Give yourself power over your negative emotions by putting a label on them.

3. Use your body to process feelings. Specifically when you notice yourself feeling shame, do some pushups while imagining children playing on you like a jungle gym.

4. Do something you’ll feel grateful for having accomplished.

[ted_bunny]

- Have a ton of projects in progress. Get bored? Switch!

- Can't start? Get drunk and do it badly. Do it badly on purpose, even. Fix it sober and laughing.

- Do something little to build momentum. Clean the bathroom, e.g.

- Maybe you aren't busy enough. The first time I got straight A's was when my semester felt impossibly busy. There was no time to procrastinate because I was always moving. Call this Parkinson's Law: "Work expands to fill a vacuum."