[lisper]

Time dilation is what you need.

[contravariant]

Though that does have the slight side effect of ageing the rest of the world as well.

[lisper]

Sometimes you have to make some sacrifices for good cheese.

[contravariant]

And if you don't happen to take some cheese with you you're likely to age all cheese in existence, which is nice.

[lisper]

Not take cheese??? How could you even think such a thing? You monster!

[contravariant]

You can't have your cheese and age it too.