[hoelle]

> what about the vast majority of people who aren't making that kind of money and do have a family, are they wizards?

I have a large extended family who all make far less than me. Yes, they have plenty of kids, too.

Their secret is living outside of a tech hub, and near family. It takes a village to raise a child. Their village is free, mine isn't.

> when I look around where I live I see people are just outright mismanaging their money with frivolous luxury items

No offense, but you're either a robot or a sociopath. "Frivolity" is often what motivates humans to get out of bed and go to work, rather than sink into something like substance abuse.

I, personally, budget about $10k/y for motorcycles and art, which are definitely frivolous personal pleasures that don't directly benefit my family. Except it brings me joy, and who knows how productive or alive I'd be without it.

[emodendroket]

OK sure I’m a sociopath for not buying a Mercedes and an Hermes handbag for my wife. And guess what lots of people live even in expensive cities without making $400k. Go look up median incomes in major cities. You’ll be surprised.

[hoelle]

A luxury car or bag doesn't move the needle much, both can also be had for 10k/y. And both of those items hold some value in the event they'd need to be resold. They're far less "frivolous" than something like a nice vacation.

Hoard your treasure in a cave like a dragon if you choose, but spitting on others for finding a different balance is definitely unempathetic.

[emodendroket]

I'm sorry but if your income is well into the six figures there's a lot of room between "hoarding" your money and never spending any on anything fun and spending it so freely that you create unnecessary financial distress for yourself. If you think 20 grand a year is "nothing" then I guess you're not so bad off after all.

[hoelle]

Yes. Recall my original point is explaining how high earners can still be anxious about layoffs. Even if they have been balancing family, fun, and savings... a layoff would likely mean 6-24 months of job searching. We would survive, but as those months go on, we'd have to make deeper and more painful cuts our lifestyle.

We are very privileged to have the money for a nanny. Having to let go of a wonderful employee and friend is itself worth plenty of anxiety.

And we're lucky enough to be citizens. Plenty of folks in our situation aren't.