[wallflower]

I'm sorry to read this. In my worldview, someone who has traveled most of the world is the opposite of a failure. It all comes down to how you feel about things. What makes you feel better? May I suggest volunteering? Without having met you, I feel like you have a world of experience and knowledge to offer. But your results seem to indicate that you are not getting what you want. Money is essential for living in the modern world; is there anyone who you could crash with for a while? When I used to read my diaries of my youth, I was struck by how depressed I consistently put down on paper. Things aren't what they seem to you.