[will_walker]

My mother did this when her cancer got too bad. She was strong willed but in end, some of her last words were asking me to give her an OD of the morphine in her hospice kit.

If you go through hospice with someone please discuss the options before the end. I wish i had asked her for her wishes beforehand because when she was weak it was hard to know how lucid she was, and the grief clouds your judgement.

[xyzzy123]

Euthanasia is much more common than usually admitted.

If someone is dying of cancer in age care, they're in great pain, in out of consciousness etc, it is quite common for an overdose of morphine to be delivered by a nurse once family have had a chance to visit.

The nurse will state something like "we delivered pain relief but their body couldn't take any more".

Not all situations are the same, but a lot of ways of dying are very painful. Many grieving families are often not in a position to make a decision or even really understand how to have a conversation about it.

I wish that as a society we could be broadly more open and realistic about this.

[gms7777]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

> If you go through hospice with someone please discuss the options before the end.

I'll expand on this and say that pretty much all adults should consider making a living will, or at least having discussions about what you want for end-of-life care if you're incapacitated. Do it for yourself, but also do it for your loved ones -- if they're ever in the position where they have to make those decisions for you, it's going to be hard enough for them already. At least knowing what your wishes are can help alleviate a lot of the stress in the moment, but also a lot of the guilt that can last much much longer.

[_nalply]

True.

My wife had cancer. She told me if she decides to leave the hospital I should accept her wish. I promised her that I would care for her as long I have the strength. We got oxycodone after the second surgery when we returned home. Half a year later she had complications, a third surgery got neccessary. Luckily the outcome was better. No remission up to today, three years later.

We don't have oxycodone anymore. When I told my wife today she could stop eating she seemed relieved. She said she wants to avoid hospital in case of a remission and would prefer to die at home. We had long discussions and they were useful. I as her husband know now what to do for her. I got her to write a declaration of her free will on a sheet of paper.

We are lucky today. We are still ready to let it go if neccessary.

[exolymph]

I'm sorry that you two have had to weather such an ordeal. You both sound strong and wise. Thank you for sharing.