[drita]

What would you be doing right now if you had more confidence? If you had more money? If you were from a developed country? If you were from an "above-average" family (I'm assuming you mean in status?)?

If you have concrete answers to these question, try to get down to the essence of what they might mean. Once you know you can have a more concrete idea of what it is you actually _want_ (often it turns out it's not necessarily those things you think you want) and what steps you might be able to take to get there.

If you do have the means, I would also encourage you to seek out some psychological counseling. Not because you sound "sick" or in dire need of professional help but because it can be very beneficial to bounce ideas off, get some feedback from an impartial person and have a trained eye look at what you're dealing with.