[wenc]

I second How to win friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie. You can pick and choose what to apply but the main advantage is that the advice is simple — communication is a real time activity and anything too complicated will be hard to remember and hard to deploy and is likely hard to improvise and adapt to the situation at hand. Simple rules are best. The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane is also good but you have to be selective in adopting the advice she gives.

The one thing that really stepped up my communication skills was moving to Chicago. Chicago people are emotionally intelligent and are eager conversationalists — this creates feedback loops in which I just talked more and the more I talked and the more positive reinforcement I got, the more I did it and the better I got.

I think being immersed in a culture where communication is prized and people are good at it is a cheat code.