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by sidlls
1239 days ago
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"banned or blacklisted" vs "executed by the state". Definitely equivalent. The West, in general, within its own territory, is better on just about every civil rights issue than places like Pakistan and China. That doesn't mean it's good: places like Pakistan and China set a pretty low bar. |
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" Another Bleedin Monty Python Website banner image image HomeTV Series Holy Grail Meaning of LifeLife of BrianSilly Links Life of Brian Script Scene 12: Brian Earns Jailor's Pet Title The sketch: eerie music
VOICE: Huo!
whip
VOICE: Hoo hoo hoo! Oh!
clank
whump
BRIAN: Eh.
clank
JAILER: Eh, heh heh ha. ptoo
BRIAN: Aah! Eh.
JAILER: Eh, heh heh. cough cough cough cough cough
BEN: You lucky bastard.
BRIAN: Who's that?
BEN: You lucky, lucky bastard.
BRIAN: What?
BEN: Proper little jailer's pet, aren't we?
BRIAN: What do you mean?
BEN: You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh?
BRIAN: Slipped him a few shekels? You saw him spit in my face!
BEN: Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face.
BRIAN: Well, it's not exactly friendly, is it? They had me in manacles!
BEN: Manacles! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be allowed to be put in manacles... just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny.
BRIAN: Oh, lay off me. I've had a hard time!
BEN: You've had a hard time?! I've been here five years! They only hung me the right way up yesterday! So, don't you come 'rou--
BRIAN: All right. All right.
BEN: They must think you're Lord God Almighty.
BRIAN: What will they do to me?
BEN: Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion.
BRIAN: Crucifixion?!
BEN: Yeah, first offence.
BRIAN: Get away with crucifixion?! It's--
BEN: Best thing the Romans ever did for us.
BRIAN: What?!
BEN: Oh, yeah. If we didn't have crucifixion, this country would be in a right bloody mess.
BRIAN: Guards!
BEN: Nail him up, I say!
BRIAN: Guards!
BEN: Nail some sense into him!
JAILER: cough cough What do you want?
BRIAN: I want you to move me to another cell.
JAILER: Ha! ptoo
BRIAN: Aah!
BEN: Oh, look at that! Bloody favoritism!
JAILER: Shut up, you!
BEN: Sorry!
JAILER: Huhh. cough cough
BEN: Now, take my case. They hung me up here five years ago. Every night, they take me down for twenty minutes, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair, in view of what I done, and, if nothing else, it's taught me to respect the Romans, and it's taught me... that you'll never get anywhere in this life, unless you're prepared to do a fair day's work for a fair day's pay!
BRIAN: Oh, shut up!
clank
JAILER: Ehhh.
CENTURION: Pilate wants to see you!
BRIAN: Me?
CENTURION: Come on!
BRIAN: Pilate? What does he want to see me for?
CENTURION: I think he wants to know which way up you want to be crucified.
BEN: Oh, ha ha ha haa! Ha haa! Nice one, Centurion. Like it. Like it.
CENTURION: Shut up!
BEN: Right. Right. Terrific race, the Romans. Terrific."