Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by ImaCake 1243 days ago
>Some of the young students in my class take up these offers, and this further demoralizes other female students seeing this happen (i.e. only attractive women being offered tutoring sessions). This is further compounded by the condescension involved (i.e. one self-admitted user of the app told me "this material that others struggle with is so easy for me, and I'm doing it for laughs and phone numbers.").

This suggests otherwise. I personally would be very upset if someone helped me purely because they thought I was attractive.
2 comments
ifyoubuildit 1243 days ago
Don't want to make you mad, but odds are someone has done something positive for you at some point solely for one trait about you that they coveted, be it money, your network, your sense of humor, the way you dressed that day, or yes, possibly even the physical shape of your face and/or body.

Why be upset about the sky being blue?

link
ImaCake 1243 days ago
Emotions aside, why are we not allowed to discourage bad faith behaviour here? It doesn't have to be a legal rule, a social rule seems to exist already. We do the same for many other actions.
link
ifyoubuildit 1243 days ago
On HN? Or in this scenario?

Either way I think you're allowed to discourage whatever you want (assuming you do it in a civil way). Not everyone's going to agree though.

Some people are going to think/do things that you/I don't like. And sometimes there doesn't have to be some kind of resolution that comes out of it, some kind of trial and adjudication. Life can just go on regardless.

link
ImaCake 1243 days ago
>Either way I think you're allowed to discourage whatever you want (assuming you do it in a civil way).

Yeah I think this is a good way to approach this. Absolutist views tend to be problematic. Society functions by breaking a lot of rules.

link
TheHappyOddish 1237 days ago
> I personally would be very upset if someone helped me purely because they thought I was attractive.

What if they helped you because you were funny, or kind, or intelligent, or any number of traits that are primarily related back to your genetics or upbringing?

This is how humans interact. It's rarely a concious consideration of the reason we help others, but it's almost always based on our perception of them.

link