[ccrush]

I have uncoditional love for the woman that bore my son, and it's not by choice, and it hurts so much you wouldn't believe. My life is a mess. She lied about my son and said he wasnt mine for years and she knew he was. She became a heroin addict with one of my friends. She got back together with me and i got addicted trying to get her clean.

[ccrush]

Oh, she lied and got me arrested, used all my savings, income, and business for drug money, married me for 2 months, sold the engagement ring for more drug money, then left me to rot in jail. She sued for an anullment while I was in jail. She lied in court and did everything to keep me and our son separated. And she succeeded. She and I haven't talked in 10 years. And I love her more than ever. I get excited when someone says her name. I get giddy just thinking about her. Her smile makes me blush and that's just pictures of her. I am like a puppy. I can't stop and it drives me crazy. I can't stop loving her. I wish I could so much. It hurts. I don't need unconditional love from her. I would be okay just being noticed by her. I wish she would know or care that I'm alive. Our son grew up without a father. Soon he won't need need child support anymore. I can't wait to end it all. I can't do this anymore, and I don't want to ask anything of her. I am excited. I want to end my life for her. It's so amazing that I can end my life for the woman who I love with all my heart. It's the one thing I look forward to in life.