[mixmastamyk]

As others mentioned you could “just jump in the pool.” And it would work eventually. But from these comments I don’t think you will.

Instead going to point out that you are not the only one. I know a female version of this for example. You might seek these folks out, it’s the age of micro communities, however unlikely.

Bluntly and ultimately a person needs to “get over themselves.” Our lives are filled with pain. We and everyone we love will be dead within a few decades. Refusing to live to avoid pain is on you, barring disease or dismemberment. Not to mention unrealistic.

Continuing your treatment sounds like a good idea. When you feel stable, one thing that blew my mind was skydiving. Cheapest quickest therapy ever. In a few seconds everything you thought was important ceases to exist. I literally kissed the ground after landing and said, “I’m alive!”

[avmich]

I'd agree with the point that "it's never too late". However, other ideas seem more suspicious. E.g. it's not that "I don't think you will" - he won't because he can't, not because he doesn't want to.

[mixmastamyk]

Possibly; we don't have enough information to know what strictly cannot be done in this situation.

Many times when I can't get myself to do something directly, I trick/outsmart myself into doing it another way. Give myself no choice, for example. There's also perspective. Watch Les Miserables for that perhaps.

But, as you alluded these are appeals to the rational mind, which may not be available right now. Only the doctor/patient has an idea.