[frenchy]

> but roles eliminate a lot of room for conflict.

I think that's only true if those roles line up with practical realities. The bulk of the problem with the 'old' roles is that become obsolete due to technological and cultural changes. The two biggest changes were household electricity, which enabled the mechanization of most houeshold chores; and refrigeration/modern fertilizer production, which made household gardens impractical for many people.

> As a cultural norm, divorce would only happen for fault ... Both sides would try to be good spouses.

+1. I grew up amoung pretty conservative Americans, and while they had some pretty toxic views around sex, the attitudes around cultivating healthy relationships has been one one of the most important things in giving me a happy life.

[orange_fritter]

I was fairly deep in religious culture through college and can definitely argue that the "values" I learned were somewhat crippling in a liberal society. Especially ideas around interpreting intimacy as a sign of commitment. I was trying to capture some powerful sanctified physical connection, and the women I dated expected to hook up on the third date and still be non-commital. I don't think either approach was superior or healthy/unhealthy, but the mismatch can be jarring.

[frognumber]

Ho boy. When I first ran across a date like this, I crashed-and-burned there. I thought sex implied a connection. My partner didn't. The outcome, emotionally, for me was bad.