[theGnuMe]

People develop a set of psychological defense mechanisms to the bullying that work at the time but can be maladaptive later. Maybe you were bullied because the bullies found your happy excitement upsetting to their feelings and wanted you to feel the way they feel. This is not uncommon. I'm sorry that happened to you. But it sounds like you are finding the time to reflect on your past.

As for relationships, the "one simple trick" for human connection and relationships is that there is no trick, you have to continuously put the work in. It helps if you find activities that you want to do and make friends there. A lot of people find satisfaction in helping other people, so volunteering can be one way to meet new people.

You might face constant rejection at first but you are not unlovable. But if you are nice and kind to others and help others people will value that and think of you in the future.

At some point you will reach critical mass and things will get easier.