[ryandrake]

I wonder how I could signal my willingness to be a H2F candidate. I could see doing this, for example, to make a few bucks in pre-retirement: 1. Get hired as the sacrificial lamb, 2. Do nothing (or the bare minimum) for 11 months, 3. Start interviewing again one month before I know I’ll be stack-rank fired, 4. Get hired as another sacrificial lamb at a different company that does stack ranking, 5. Goto 2.

Everybody wins. I get a salary for doing nothing. Hiring manager protects his team from a cruel system. High-and-medium-performing coworkers are secure in their jobs. Recruiters meet their hiring goals.

[thombat]

My joke (?) proposal for a contracting business was "Scapegoat Solutions". You're a manager somewhere with a project which is of course late, over budget, crappy quality? Your bonus, or even ass, could be on the line? Never fear - just contract us to "work" on your project for a quarter, we'll drink a little coffee, play some Kicker, twiddle some files in your SCM, then you ceremonially fire us while bewailing the outlandish harm we did to your otherwise well-managed project, explain to your Lords & Masters that it will take months to right the ship... Obviously we're blacklisted as "No Hire" for your company - at least until the next time you need our well-remunerated services...

[SenHeng]

I had a roommate that had a real business doing such a thing. If a company/person fucks up and needs to apologise but are unable/unwilling for $REASONS, that's where my roommate would step in and literally apologise for them. He would even be provided with name cards and in some instances, underlings to look like an important person.

I tried very hard (google & wiki) to look for an English term but I failed. It's 謝罪代行 in Japanese. Literally Apology as a Service.

[thombat]

Fascinating! So the recipient of the apology is generally unaware that it has been outsourced? Or do they still find it soothing, as bereft family do with professional mourners?

[TeMPOraL]

I wonder when something similar will appear for e-commerce.

It seems to me that the process of dealing with customer complaints is pretty well tested and routine at this point. Apologize, either eat the loss (if the problem is serious or not worth the hassle) or spin some BS story (if it's not), then politely ask the customer to rescind their negative review on the e-commerce platform - and if the customer is not cooperating with that last step (which is the most important one for the vendor), continue through pressure, begging and offering freebies.

I feel the whole dance could be outsourced to a professional "customer complaints service", and improved effectiveness would let even more bad sellers thrive with near-perfect review scores for even longer.