[theevilsharpie]

> Do you have any suggestions at all for where to look?

I've bought from Memory4Less in the past and had a good experience. ServerSupply was also a source I used for work, although I don't think I've ever bought anything from them for personal use.

> Also, is it really just lack of XMP and having to OC manually?

Yes.

> My impression was that you could expect extremely little OC to be stable even if you did it yourself.

All other things being equal, I would expect ECC RAM to have somewhat lower overclocking headroom than non-ECC memory, because the memory controller has to drive an additional memory chip with a wider memory bus. However, I generally wouldn't expect significantly worse results than the manual overclocking that enthusiasts did in the past. Obviously, as with any overclocking, your mileage may vary.