[allenu]

> Understand why you're in an argument and what you hope to accomplish by being in an argument.

There's a spectrum here, but I've noticed that a lot of people like to debate things online because they're genuinely trying to understand the problem set, or want to play around with ideas. They're not looking to "argue" necessarily. However, on the other end, some people do interpret any disagreement as an argument and will then turn the discussion into one that they will try to "win".

It can be frustrating if you're coming at it from a "discovery" perspective and the other person wants to fight, or you're coming at it from a fight perspective and the other one wants to discover. This happens in real life as well, but it's a little bit easier to communicate what your intent is based on your tone and expression.