[jimkleiber]

For me, loneliness is not a lack of understanding but a lack of connection. The main difference being understanding is often about "knowing" and connection is often about "not knowing" (or being comfortable with not knowing something).

I personally have felt the most lonely when I feel disconnected from how I'm feeling AND how someone else is feeling.

1) If I get too focused on how I'm feeling and distant from how others are feeling, I can start to believe that no one will ever understand me, or "get me."

2) If I'm too focused on how others are feeling and not on how I'm feeling, then I may feel a lot of resentment towards them for not paying attention to me.

3) If I'm not focused on either how I'm feeling or how they might be feeling, I can feel quite numb and empty.

So for me, what helps is trying to focus on how I'm feeling and how other people might be feeling, while also trying to focus on letting myself accept uncertainty for both of those things.