[PheonixPharts]

> Inducing existential dread is NOT what any of us need to start living our lives more fully

I’ve found, as I watch friends and family age, that learning to confront and work with this dread is essential to living life fully. Especially as decline and decay start to dominate aspects of your life more and more.

The people that I know that are uncomfortable talking about these topics progressively live in a world of fear and doubt as they age. The others, become increasingly resilient.

Arguably the single act that defines maturity is facing this dread and learning to accept and exist with it.

Until then you are living a half life, only dealing with the part of existence you find comfortable, but so much of who we are as individuals is defined by this other aspect of being.

[ericmcer]

So how do you accept it? I know a handful of 75+ year old family members who I am close to and they don’t think about it at all. The ones who act like they are still young and don’t dwell on death seem the happiest. It runs counter to the argument that death is something you need to meditate on and acknowledge every day.

Maybe there is something to just living in denial until your quality of life has degraded and your friends are gone and death seems a welcome release.

[waboremo]

Acting young does not exclude thinking about death. Being able to focus on other things most of the time also doesn't exclude thinking about death. I find it difficult to believe your family members do not think about death, even if you try your hardest to avoid it, people die around you and you are forced to face reality.

Accepting death will happen is a prerequisite. So many are afraid of this event, but it is just another event. What can you do about death? Nothing. So it's pointless to worry about the impending event of death. For some control freaks, this sends them into an internal spiral, and to them I say maybe reassess whatever trauma caused them to seek control over the uncontrollable. For others, this is freeing. It happens when it happens so all I can do is act on the now.

This is where I think most elderly people are at, and why they feel liberated. They aren't concerned about a legacy or preventing death or reputation, they care about the here and now. Loving who they love, working on what they enjoy, saying what's on their mind, and letting go of the rest.

Some people mistake this liberation to be a complete disregard for planning or the future. But on the contrary, if an elderly person sees high value in a higher education for their grandchildren for instance, they might seek to make contributions. They are acting in the now for their own benefit, understanding whatever happens when they are gone is uncontrollable anyway.

Do you need to pray to the god of death every day? No, but it's helpful to frame your perspective knowing death is going to happen. Especially when doing so helps fuel better decisions. Why worry about your social perception by joining a painting class? Why not go for a nice hike today? Our problems see minute when we acknowledge death is around the corner.

[avgcorrection]

That would be nice if we were taught any concrete ways to do that. But we aren’t. “Confront”? What does that even mean?

The Dalai Lama allegedly meditates on dying every day. With the whole decay visualization business.

[WhiteBlueSkies]

There is no decay and decline. Thinking that decay and decline is coming is the decay happening right now. This mentality needs to change ASAP.