[em-bee]

it depends how we meet. if i meet someone through a dating site or some other matchmaking process, i would want to known soon whether we have similar goals in life. and if the goals line up we can go deeper and explore our relationship. if not, we can keep looking for someone else.

but i actually feel that dating itself is not a good approach to find a partner. it is an artificial situation disconnected from your normal life.

it would be better to be able to pick your partner from among your friends, and then spending time with that friend and others as you get to know each other more. many qualities, interests and goals will naturally reveal themselves and common interests and goals will cause you to spend more time together.

dating makes this difficult because you are switching from relaxed activities with friends to a very formal meeting with high expectations where not getting invited for a second date counts as a failure without much hope for another chance.