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I agree with you, and have the same problem. Even though staying anonymous is not too difficult, it's frustrating that it's required. It feels alienating to learn that others are hostile to your thoughts and ideas, to learn that under the freedom of anonymity others still disagree with you, more harshly than they might in person. And it's frustrating to see that some other people are able to fit into the social zeitgeist using their real names, seemingly with no socially unpalatable opinions. (I suppose they probably have their own secret accounts, as well as thick skins.) I don't think of myself as having particularly offensive or niche opinions, but I probably have a contrarian or confrontational style of communication which causes offense. Certain people (such as INTPs, which we probably both are) tend to pride themselves on being smart and logical. It hurts our self-image when someone disagrees with us. We also like to discuss things in purely logical and theoretical terms without regard for the context or connotations of the logic. For example, when discussing incest like you did, most people would use a bunch of disclaimers, like "I'm not actually into incest at all, and definitely not a pedophile, but...". You and I would tend to leave out those disclaimers as a matter of pride, because they aren't relevant to the logical idea that you're proposing, and are only useful at defending against ad-hominem attacks. We expect the reader to discuss the topic on purely theoretical grounds in pursuit of the truth. I dislike having to use those disclaimers and often leave them out on purpose because I want to "win" the discussion with my ideas, not my character. This tends to make me unpopular on Reddit. In real life, of course, I would use disclaimers because I care about my reputation beyond the realm of ideas. It's just disappointing that even ostensibly-anonymous social media isn't free of those constraints. Honestly, I like 4chan for this reason. People don't shy away from uncomfortable opinions there; instead, they run towards them. I strongly disagree with most of the 4chan zeitgeist, and hate a lot of the people there, but its unfiltered nature is refreshing sometimes. |