[CPLX]

As I am sure you are already aware in moments of clarity, your fear of being evaluated and rejected by others is so severe that you’ve made the choice to engage in behaviors that ensue it will happen, thus at least giving yourself a feeling of agency and control over that process.

Perhaps you will come to terms with this in time to live some portion of your life with a different approach.

[AngriestLettuce]

I do not see the point. Your way made me miserable. My way makes me happy. That's all the proof I need to support myself.

[bittercynic]

You might be stuck at a local maximum, and might find even more happiness by exploring other ways.

I'm not suggesting you should throw away what works for you, but if you only do the things that are already working, you might miss out on something you would have enjoyed.