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by ChrisMarshallNY 1270 days ago
I never asked, but always listened, and respected whatever the employee wanted to share. I have personal (extracurricular) experience in an organization that has given me a particularly useful approach to sensitive life stuff. I also shared a lot of what I was going through (but not all). That's often a great way to "break the ice."

I saw my employees through a lot of life's challenges, like cancer, marriage, divorce, child issues, elder issues, whatever. I made sure that we could keep working as a team, even if it meant that one of the members may have had to opt out for a while.

I also withheld information from HR, that they would have liked to have had, because, quite frankly, it was none of their damn business. It did not always endear me to them. I kept secrets, and never used anything I learned to manipulate, but I did use it to optimize.

For example, I had one engineer that is "on the spectrum." He Just. Could. Not. Come. In. Before. Noon. to save his life, but often worked until 2AM.

Also, the code he wrote was nothing short of miraculous. He's possibly the best coder I've ever worked with.

HR wanted me to bully him into submission. I did not, and they were un-thrilled with me. But Japan loved him, and they held the upper hand.

It wasn't for everyone, but we made it work.

I feel that "one size fits all" solutions may be necessary for large organizations, but I had the luxury of managing a small team (never more than 10 people). Everyone involved was serious about the work, had pride in the company, and appreciated the leeway I gave them. My LI profile has a number of testimonials, and some are from former employees. To this day, we still keep in touch.

Because of the nature of the work we did, there was no way for "slackers" to hide. Everyone's work was just too visible.

As a manager, my #1 priority was always to represent what was best for the corporation. In some cases, that meant preventing the corporation from engaging in self-destructive behavior. Now, that is a classic "slippery slope," and it could have easily turned into self-will run riot, but it didn't; because I'm who I am.

Managers aren't cookies, and they can't be formed from cookie-cutters, no matter what the "HR Consultants" say.

1 comments

Thanks! Great points about leading with some of our own vulnerability as a way to create psychological safety. Refusing bad direction to protect the team is always hard, because it carries the burden of articulating how that protection is better for the company as a whole, which means politics and either CYA records or face saving flattery that is somewhat degrading for the manager to have to do. You sound like a good person to work with.
> You sound like a good person to work with.

I did my best. I do tend to expect top-shelf results (as opposed to "effort"), though, which does not always win me fans (but the company I worked for, expected nothing less).