[epolanski]

> Teaching a child that their call for help will not be answered is unkind and damaging

You don't know that, there is no evidence for it and it definitely depends on the age. Your post is drammatically different when speaking about a newborn, a 6 or a 12 or 18 months old.

Babies absolutely need to learn to self soothe and that crying won't always meet attention too.

The idea that unattending a crying baby here and there will produce long lasting trauma has to be proved first, it may actually be positive.

[laserlight]

> You don't know that, there is no evidence for it

Yep, I agree.

> Babies absolutely need to learn to self soothe and that crying won't always meet attention too.

How do you know that? Where’s the evidence for it?

PS: Not the one you’re replying to.

[metabagel]

There's plenty of evidence for it. Read the books by Dr. Bruce Perry. Read about attachment theory.

If you read his books, what you will also find is that children respond differently to trauma. So, some children may not be harmed at all by childhood trauma, while others may be deeply affected. The basic fallacy here is that children under the age of three can self-soothe. They cannot. This is all part of infant development.

[sanderjd]

Yeah listen, you're not going to convince many people that their two year olds are incapable of soothing themselves! "Infant development" does not describe children between the ages of 1 and 3, who are not infants.

[epolanski]

Babies after 12 months are no longer infants.

And yes, babies can self soothe, that's the entire point of the article we're commenting, letting them cry it out so they learn to calm themselves.

[unity1001]

> Dr. Bruce Perry... attachment theory

That one sure is an American cultural product that exists nowhere else. "Attachment is a problem" - here is a theory for it.

The entire human evolution is based on attachments created between the group members. From parenting to siblings to relatives to friends to everything else. The destruction of such 'attachments' causes social bonds to be broken and people getting isolated into depression. No wonder people call the US 'prozac nation'...