[saalweachter]

So one question I asked myself is what I needed in life to be happy, and how that related to my job. I settled on three things: a permanent home, a place in a community/family, and some sort of "life's work".

Now, that last one could be a job. I want to work on something meaningful, in a way that -- if I were on my death bed -- I could say to someone else, "carry on my work". I like my job, it's interesting and useful work, but it doesn't have that kind of gravitas.

But I haven't switched jobs yet, and my happiness is generally up & up.

I am also the type of person who nests, who lays down roots; I hated renting and feeling like a transient, I want a garage full of tools where I can build things and a little garden and orchard and to have a space where I feel like I belong. And as much as I'd like to crawl into my little den and hide from the world, I also want to feel like I'm a part of a family and a community, to have people who count on me and like me. To feel like I've made some other people's lives better in some way.

So I've been working on that for now instead of chasing the dream of a job that would provide a meaningful life's work.

Which brings me round to the advice and the question again. Are there things you can work on -- ways you can grow -- outside your career, that would increase your happiness and satisfaction with life?

[bombcar]

As an aside one thing I’ve found is that it’s nice to have people count on you - but you also need to work on counting on others to build relationships that are deep. And sometimes those people will fail you (and sometimes you fail others) but that’s not the end of the world.

It becomes especially obvious when you have children; you have to start counting on them quite early to let them grow.