[menshiki]

Seems like you finished the main quest line and now you get to work on side missions or just explore the world.

Why do you think going back to who you were is good? You are a very different person in very different circumstances. Perhaps focusing on who you are right now and not chasing the person you used to be would give you some inner peace.

If I were you I would learn about art, move to a different country, and learn a new language. Just enjoy the open world, devs made a pretty good job creating it.