[kh0st]

Yup - as I’ve read here you need to talk to a therapist, and also it seems you need some intellectual stimulation to give you some direction of motivation in life.

It sounds like you lost your purpose, which can be an existential crisis - but as you mentioned you have a loving family, a house … etc.

I had to leave my career in the army at 30 because of PTSD, fell into VERY rough times, and after all that had 2 kids which helped provide a bit of perspective.

Now, I’m feeling many of the same things but am going back for a new degree in a couple months, I keep myself busy with some of the new technology, and had to really gain some acceptance with myself and my feelings.

And that can be the hardest thing, when the day is over and everything is quiet and I’m forced to be alone with my screaming thoughts.

It can be tough and overwhelming, especially during this time of year. It’s hard but try to have some acceptance that you are right where the universe needs you to be - we like to fool ourselves that we retain some sort of control but we don’t.

Stay positive, friend.