[trentgreene]

We _definitely_ wanted it. Badly. It was not a case of “not wanting it.” It was a case of:

- a lack of time

— a lack of resources (just two folks, no expendable income)

- a lack of cognitive energy, probably stress induced from managing the above two.

I think this is a particularly rich western country thing though, the method of being poor you describe works great when you have an extended family who can pool resources. But for a single mom and young child, you can’t smart your way out of it. It’s like trying to optimize a triple a game to run on twenty year old hardware —- just ain’t the cycles, have to reduce the workload.

[thefounder]

>> - a lack of cognitive energy, probably stress induced from managing the above two.

I think this is really the most important point. We know we should do better but we lack the cognitive energy. I can totally understand it.

Getting yourself on the right track is hard but at least you can develop a mental story you can control and stay "in the zone". I can't imagine how hard it is being poor and single with children, always being distracted by thousands of small issues.

[trentgreene]

The cognitive energy is the least important point by a country mile. Again, you can’t optimize your way out of severe poverty. It is not a problem of mental fortitude, self induced or not. I feel like statements like the one I’m replying to miss the point entirely.

It’s a problem with not having enough time or money to eat well. That’s the take away. The cognitive stress is just a bonus.

Put another way, we totally could have eaten better if we had more time or money. It’s highly unlikely we could have eaten better if we had more mental fortitude.

To reinforce that point, my mom was a very fit person who prioritized eating well before becoming poor. Ran, mountain biked, ski-ed.

After I got money, pretty much all my disposable goes into health and food to fuel. Lift, cycle, surf, run. In high school, I wrestled explicitly because coach would buy me food. It wasn’t mental fortitude or will that was lacking.

It was just time and money.