Setting emails to a long waiting period, during which you can undo them, has been a game changer for me in that regard. Too bad you can't take back words that came out of your mouth. Or many instant messages.
A very human thing is to say I don’t need to change and then rationalize it in some way. I think that’s what you’re doing here. Talking a pause before escalating with something hurtful could only be helpful, no matter if it’s “Less real” and has nothing to do with being distant at all.