[danielnoiz]

Hey, I just wanted to chime in as well. I am a few years older than you, but I have been exactly where you are. I was a gifted kid but my grades declined around 16/17. I felt 0% prepared for college and withdrew before they flunked me out. Tried again after a few months and the same thing. That was (oh dear) almost a decade ago.

I'm currently a student at a local tech college and have two semesters to go for my Application Development Associate's degree. It was a huge struggle for me to have any self worth in the years between dropping out and when I applied to attend the tech school. There is a bit of unspoken judgement against tech schools (at least I definitely felt that way), but the instructors there are often very knowledgeable and approachable. Just because you didn't graduate from /a/ college doesn't mean you can't graduate or that you are in any way lesser than those that did.

I also started seeing a specialist about ADHD and I'm currently on a low Adderall dose. I was also skeptical or felt like asking to be tested would seem like I just wanted the drugs. But my diagnosis and Rx has been essential to my success at my current job and in my degree path. It might be good to look up a few ADHD specialists in your area, it's a complex disorder that doesn't always present the same way in people.

You are young still and have plenty of time to fail in new and exciting ways! But really, you have so much time to find things you enjoy and are good at. Were I in your position, I would first look for a job with a shorter commute. Actually, when I was about 25, I took a $2/hr pay cut because I was fed up with management at my current job and needed a change for my mental health. It worked wonders and I was making more at the new job within 6 months. My point here being you might take a "lateral" (on paper) move that will greatly improve your quality of life. I'm glad you reached out for help, it prompted me to finally make an account. This post was so close to my own experience I could have written it.

[fsociety]

+1 to this. My experience was similar and when I was evaluated for ADHD the signals were blaring to a professional despite the fact I was a mostly quiet individual.

I struggle with the same things but despite being temporarily unmedicated, for silly reasons out of my control, I am in a much better spot in life. More self-aware and able to create environments which set me up for success.

[user-extended]

Thank you for your reply, I need to go to sleep so I'm gonna be brief: I'm very glad to hear you've been able to turn your life around, I will look into everything you've mentioned.