[josephg]

> I know what I'd like to be doing, but I also know I'm not motivated to do it.

You just contradicted yourself. Being motivated to do something means wanting to do it.

The problem is that "What do I want to do" actually has two meanings. It means "What would I like to be doing each day" and it means "What do I want to have done". These are very different questions, and they have different answers. I'd like to have fed the poor, but I would not enjoy standing on the street asking for donations from passers-by. I want to be designing computer games, but I won't be particularly proud of writing Battlefield N+1.

I've spent years optimizing for how my life will look in retrospect. This came as a revelation to me, but if I look back at my fondest memories over the past few years, none of them have involved big goals. Instead, they've all been things that were fun to do, like gamejam and trapeze lessons. This year I've got a new plan: -Ofun. I might not change the world, but maybe if I'm enjoying myself a lot more that'll be ok.