[gyulai]

> You cannot control how a recipient receives your message.

My point exactly. Only problem: If A hurts B's feelings, that doesn't automatically mean B has the moral high ground and A is therefore in the wrong.

If B plays the "hurt feelings" card after A has done nothing to give offense other than start a conversation with "hello" in a text chat where they had no way of discerning B's emotional state, then that's the best example I've encountered yet, of a situation where A's hurt feelings clearly seem like A's problem.

[flagsrule]

The unspoken context is that this goes beyond saying "hello".

In my experience, hello people usually present with the following comorbidities:

- inability to learn and retain new information.

- inability to own their work and take responsibility from end-to-end.

- tendency to push their own work onto other people and become a victim when the other person doesn't do exactly what they want.

Maybe the psychology student you mentioned could look into this phenomenon for their thesis?

[gyulai]

...wow, and you got all of that from "hello".

[gyulai]

Also, not sure if you saw my other comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33933186

I already established that (a) I'm one of those hello people. (b) I'm allowing this conversation to change my behaviour, based on the fact that I simply never had any idea that people could take offence from a "hello". If your definition of "learn" is "coming around to your point of view", that would seem to make me a counterexample to your psychological typology.

But it still rubs me the wrong way to think that this society is leaving the business of "creation of cultural norms" to crybabies. Show me a group that's complaining about being said "hello" to, and I'll show you a group that needs to check their privilege.

[flagsrule]

No, I got all that from my multiple years of repeated interactions with "hello" people and noticing a consistent pattern.

Maybe you don't fit that mold and just like to say hello and you are a good coworker without all the bad traits I mentioned. Didn't mean to make this personal... just sharing my observations of the past.